What’s in a name?

Surely a woman, regardless of title, would be as fierce? After having a meltdown in Debenhams when a shop assistant dared to put me down as ‘Mrs’ instead of ‘Miss’ on a form, I couldn’t help but wonder – how much importance do our titles really hold? After said breakdown, a male colleague suggested the reason behind my aggravation was because I had “lost the ability to advertise my need to get married” insert eye roll here. As you can imagine – I did correct my ill-informed associate that women do not need to get married.

“Men do not have to declare their marital status in their title“

Tracy King, The Stylist

The 1755 dictionary definition of ‘Miss’ is rather flattering given that women at that time could not even vote. It is defined as a ‘beloved women, skilled in anything’. Anything. Wow. Forward thinking stuff eh. No. In the very same 1755 dictionary, ‘Miss’ is also described as ‘a contemptuous address for a whore or concubine’ since ‘Miss’ has always been an abbreviation of ‘Mistress’.

We all have an image of a ‘mistress’ in our head. You have one now I’m sure. Mine is a sharp-tongued individual circa 1889 who owns a house of disrepute in East London. A businesswoman in a crimson velvet bustier who does not suffer fools and runs an orderly house for her working girls.

90% of UK women take their husband’s name after marriage

2016 Survey

So maybe in that case it is better to let the shop assistant tick the ‘Mrs’ box without correction. Standing on the precipice of marriage myself, I will soon be confronting my own name change. Speaking with my closest circle of girls, one remarked that in fact “sadly, I think people take me more seriously as ‘Mrs’. I think in business, I am met with more positivity”. Classing myself as a career woman, I did not want to believe this was true. Unfortunately, however, her assumption does hold historical accuracy.

In the 19th century, women on the lowest rung of the social ladder were not held in high enough regard to be afforded the title of ‘Mrs’, instead simply referred to by their full names. However, high society females were bestowed the title regardless of marital status. So not only does ‘Miss’ place us somewhere between beloved and prostitute but ‘Mrs’ lands us between society highflyer and the workhouse. Not only therefore are our titles designed to keep us on an unequal footing to men, but they are perhaps designed to separate us from our sister. Divided into the haves and the have nots. It was the Roman Emperor, Julius Caesar who said, “divide and conquer” and perhaps this was an extension of just that. If a patriarchal society could divide women into social classes by title alone, how else could they expose cracks into our sisterhood?