‘Text me when you get home’

I can’t begin to tell you how many times myself or a friend have said this to one another. Whether that was after a date, an office party, a night out with friends or simply making our way home from each others houses. It is difficult as a female to not be affected by the recent events surrounding the murder of Sarah Everard and consequently the social media outrage it has sparked. The way I see it, it highlights a few things we as a society, not just women, have to tackle in order to keep our women and girls safe. I have mused on a few below…

“Females are four times more likely to be a victim of sexual assault compared to men”

Office of National Statistics

Allyship – As a young woman, I developed quickly and frankly had quite an ample breast by the age of about 11 or 12. Despite my age, males in public spaces still felt I was ‘fair game’, wolf whistling and catcalling me from the scaffolding, the other side of the bus or out the window of a car. In every example there were most certainly other men present yet they never said anything. We need male allies to pull up their fellow men when they witness this behaviour. I am pretty sure they would have a problem if it was their sister, mum, daughter – so why are other women so different? Ignoring this behaviour or positively reinforcing it with laughter and confirmation that it is in some way acceptable only feeds the mould on society that is misogyny.

Education – We have all seen the image on social media now “Protect Your Daughters – Educate Your Sons” and this could not be a better time to heed this advice. With the rise of free information on the internet and across social media, we must start a movement to educate males, young and old, on respecting women, keeping them safe and how they can not only become female allies but spread the education they receive to other men throughout society.

Testify – It has become too easy for people to dismiss the experiences of others simply because it did not happen to them. The only reason we now know that 97% of the female UK population have been sexually assaulted is because we feel empowered to come forward with our truth. Not until the wider society realise the scale and frequency of the actions that make women feel scared going about their day-to-day business can we begin to understand the scale of the issue and make real change. Tell your partner, husband, friend, Dad, brother – any male associate you may have. I’ll start…

“61% of women take regular precautions to avoid being sexually assaulted.”

You Gov Report

1. Sunday night, I took the tube from Hammersmith to Whitechapel. I was about 23. I was sitting alone reading a book. It was around 9pm so not many people in the carriage. A gentleman got on and sat across from me but a few seats down. So engrossed was I in my book, I did not notice the other women, 3 seats down from me, get up and move as far away as possible. Then I realised why. The aforementioned man had masterbated and consequently ejectulated on the seat. He got stuck in the doors when running from the train. Nobody protected me and nobody reported him.

2. I was in a bar in Newcastle during the rugby world cup. I’m only 5ft 4 so I have to make an effort to get noticed at a busy bar in order to get served. A large male, around 6ft 5, pushed me out the way. I, naturally, reacted and said something like “excuse me I was first, please don’t push me”. His response? To force his hand under my bum, through my legs and grab me. He coupled that with calling me a ‘fucking cunt’. He was served first.

3. A work charity boxing event. Standing chatting to some work colleagues at the bar whilst waiting for a drink, another ‘professional’ male grabbed my bum and essentially asked if I wanted to go to bed with him. When I confronted him and asked if he thought that was appropriate behaviour at a business event he replied with ‘calm down bitch, it’s only a bit of banter for fucks sake’.