Don’t ask, don’t get

A phrase my darling Grandma used to say often. A short (4ft 11″) fierce northern powerhouse who, with her mainly green attire and walking stick always reminded me of a Geordie female master Yoda. Strong force she had, yes.

But it isn’t until recently I have begun musing on the meaning of some of her favourite phrases. Especially this one.

As women, for centuries we have been told we must be quiet, curb our aspirations and not openly desire more than our societal status would allow. However, fast forward a few centuries and the world seems to be obsessed with having whatever you want. Manifesting, The Law of Attraction and vision boards. They have been catapulted from the hippy backwater Woodstock’s of the free loving 60’s and landed firmly into the hands of everyone from the Instagram influencer to the richest people on the Forbes 100.

“Manifesting is the materialisation of a thought or belief into physical form”

Giselle La Pompe-Moore, Vogue

But is manifesting really the key to having what you want, what you really really want? When Grandma said ‘Don’t ask, don’t get’ she wasn’t just suggesting we should ask for a cuppa and a biscuit when we wanted one. No. What she was really saying was “You want something badly enough? Then go out into the world and, unapologetically, manifest it”.

I know, I know. I hear you all screaming ‘but Nicola, that’ll never work!’ and trust me I used to think so too. Until I started to do it. New job? Tick. The engagement ring of my dreams? Got it. My very own leopard print coat? In my wardrobe. This blog? Done. Flexible working hours? Yes ma’am. Total self-acceptance? Yass Queen!

“All of us have within us this amazing capacity to manifest anything that we want into our lives”

Steve Harvey

‘Ok, I’m in. What should I do?’ Well, that’s just the best part! You simple ask. I know. That’s it. And the best thing about this is, it doesn’t matter how you ask. Out loud, in your mind, on paper, on Facebook, in the car. Inspired by the inspirational words of Steve Harvey, I choose to right mine down. Steve tells us to write down 300 things we want, anything from that dream house to a simple moment in time you want to experience. But you can’t stop there. Once you have your list (I’m on 115 and counting) keep it close – in your bag, by your bedside, in the office and read it every day. Flick through those dream pages and really read them. You’ll start to find that slowly but surely, you can tick them off 1 by 1.

“Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.”

Habakkuk 2:2

If you’re ready to stop reading and start manifesting I have compiled a list of resources that I have helped me through the years:

• The Secret – Rhonda Byrne – This was introduced to me by a dear friend, Alistair. I watch the film version on Netflix every year.

• Oprah Winfrey – Super Soul Sunday – If you don’t like Oprah, we frankly can’t be friends. It’s safe to say the majority of her professional career has been based on manifestation and she certainly knows how to talk about it.

• Joel Osteen – The Power of ‘I am’ – Although this is another very religion heavy based book, you can alter to your beliefs, absorb the message and apply it to your own life.

• The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho – A powerful fiction book about a shepherd boy, Santiago, who leaves his home in search of something bigger and becomes the master of his own story.