Be your own PR Director

Whilst in one of my first Marketing Executive roles for a major UK IT distributor – my manager told me – “Always do your own PR Nicola because nobody else will do it for you”. Wise words and those I wish all women would take note of. It’s been said that women will only apply for a new job when they feel 100% qualified compared to men who will apply even if they only have 60% of the required skills. According to a LinkedIn study – women are less likely to apply for roles more senior to their current position – known as ‘stretch roles’. So why are women so reserved when it comes to believing in our own abilities?

Women are 26% less likely than men to ask for a job referral

Gender Insights Report, LinkedIn

Don’t get me wrong, I have been there! I have been the girl scrolling endlessly through job adverts online and repeating the same internal monologue: “I don’t have those skills”, “I can’t do that job”, “I’m not worth that much money”, “The risk is too great”, “Will they hire me at 32 knowing I will potentially have children soon?” – the barrage of negative energy is endless and frankly – I’m done. Yes you heard me…DONE!

So recently I did something some may see as big headed, egotistically or perhaps frankly taboo for a woman- I nominated myself for an award. Yes, you heard me. I believe in myself and think I am frankly fucking fabulous so I did my own PR. If you are interested – it was the CRN Women in Channel Awards in the Rising Star Category.

Because that’s what I am. I am getting better, smarter, making mistakes, learning from them, looking for new challenges and rising. Was anyone else going to nominate me? I don’t know. But I wasn’t going to wait to find out.

Out of all the nominees – I contacted a few that I know to say congratulations and was shocked (but not surprised!) at the responses I got. Here are a few…

I feel embarrassed

I should not be nominated

I definitely don’t think I should be in that list

I won’t win

Why are we telling ourselves this? Would we be saying to our friends “oh you really shouldn’t be nominated for that because you most likely won’t win anyway”? No we wouldn’t so why do we find this negative narrative acceptable for ourselves? I have of course gone through times in my life where I have been my own worst enemy and self sabotaged many an opportunity but now I am my best cheerleader, my strongest ally, my most feared challenger and my very own PR Director. We have a responsibility to ourselves, our daughters, female colleagues, friends and those we don’t even know are watching to switch this self-deprecation into outrageous self-belief and radical self-acceptance of just how fucking fabulous we are.

“I have something to do and I will do that because I’m paying for someone else who has yet to come.”

Maya Angelou

Perhaps it is a learnt behaviour. If you keep up to date with my writing, you would have read my book review on “Untamed” by Glennon Doyle. In the chapter “Comfort Zones”, Glennon looks at the ways in which women have been tamed into not only believing that we should be quiet, modest, less deserving, and fly under the radar but we have also become untrusting of those women who go push back against these labels. Those who stand out, walk taller, speak with firm, absolute belief. Those who ask for what they want from life and how they will get it, who reward and celebrate themselves. Next time you see these individuals – celebrate them, congratulate them (quietly or out loud) admire them and use them as motivation. Between society telling us we aren’t worthy or shouldn’t win and us supporting that narrative with our own thought process, what we certainly don’t need is to turn on each other and add fuel to the fire.

Don’t apologise for what you want. Don’t be ashamed of wanting to earn more or own materialistic things. Likelihood is – YOU HAVE EARNED IT! Let people know who you are. Stand out proudly from the crowd. Empower others. Take them with you. Celebrate those who walk arm in arm with you and raise up those who find it difficult to stand. Back yourself and more importantly….always do your own PR.